Black Magic Takes on the Flu

The healer hates it when I call it black magic, but I can't help it sometimes. The quirky and awesome way in which alternative medicine cures ailments is straight out of a Harry Potter book.

For example, recently I acquired the flu. But I didn't know it at the time because - for once - I wasn't experiencing any of the traditional symptoms. I learned about my fate when the healer picked up on it during one of our regular sessions.

"You have a virus," he said.
"No I don't. I feel fine."

He laughed at my self-diagnosis.

"Yeah, you do. It's the flu. Take this bottle of drops and put three under your tongue at night for three nights, starting tonight."

I rolled my eyes and lied said I would.

Two days later, while the bottle of drops was still rolling around underneath the passenger seat of my car, I was flatlined with muscle aches and a sore throat. By the time I summoned the energy to go to the garage, I was dizzy, congested and pissed.

As I bit into the package and began counting the drops, I giggled at the notion that three of them could "cure" me. "God, I must be desperate," I thought.

But I woke up the next morning and everything was gone. Everything. As if nothing had happened. I felt like a million bucks.

After that, I renamed the healer "Merlin."